A
ALI
Guest
Being a developer is like being in a secret society where everyone pretends they know what theyโre doingโฆ but deep down, weโre all just Googling the same Stack Overflow answers.
Let me share some 100% real, definitely universal developer truths:
1. The Law of "Works on My Machine"
If your code works on your laptop but not on productionโcongratulations, youโre a real developer now.
Bonus points if you say โbut it works locallyโ in the daily stand-up with zero shame.
2. Debugging = Crime Investigation
3. Deadlines and Miracles
4. Git Commit Messages Are Therapy
5. Meetings Are Just Free Debugging Sessions
Tell me why:
I canโt find a bug for 6 hours.
Then I explain the problem to my teammate for 2 minutes.
the solution suddenly appears in my brain.
(Rubber duck debugging is real.)
6. Friday Deployments = Russian Roulette
*7. The Stack Overflow Pipeline
*
8. Coffee is a Dependency
npm install coffee
pip install caffeine
apt-get install sleep-deprivation
Without it, the project wonโt even compile.
*Final Thoughts
*
Whatโs your funniest developer moment that still makes you laugh (or cry)? Drop it belowโIโll read them
Continue reading...
Let me share some 100% real, definitely universal developer truths:
1. The Law of "Works on My Machine"
If your code works on your laptop but not on productionโcongratulations, youโre a real developer now.
Bonus points if you say โbut it works locallyโ in the daily stand-up with zero shame.
2. Debugging = Crime Investigation
- Debugging isnโt just fixing errors. Itโs more like:
- Reading stack traces like ancient hieroglyphics.
- Accusing innocent lines of code.
- Adding console.log("here") 50 times just to see where the code goes after midnight.
- Eventually giving up and telling yourself: โMaybe the computer is wrong.โ
3. Deadlines and Miracles
- PM: โThis should only take a day, right?โ
- Me: laughs in recursive function
- Reality: Two weeks later, Iโve built an entirely different feature, discovered three new bugs, and lost 10% of my sanity.
4. Git Commit Messages Are Therapy
- Real-world Git commits:
- final_final_really_final_fix.js
- pls work this time
- added thing because other thing broke
- ยฏ_(ใ)_/ยฏ
- Honestly, Git history is less โversion controlโ and more a diary of breakdowns.
5. Meetings Are Just Free Debugging Sessions
Tell me why:
I canโt find a bug for 6 hours.
Then I explain the problem to my teammate for 2 minutes.
the solution suddenly appears in my brain.
(Rubber duck debugging is real.)
6. Friday Deployments = Russian Roulette
- Deploying on Friday is like saying:
- โI enjoy chaos, fear, and adrenaline rushes.โ
- But donโt worry, because if it breaks:
- Youโll just say โItโs a Monday problem.โ
*7. The Stack Overflow Pipeline
*
- The real development lifecycle is not Agile. Itโs:
- Google error.
- Open 12 Stack Overflow tabs.
- Copy โ Paste โ Hope โ Pray.
- Forget to close tabs for 3 days.
8. Coffee is a Dependency
npm install coffee
pip install caffeine
apt-get install sleep-deprivation
Without it, the project wonโt even compile.
*Final Thoughts
*
- Developers live in a strange paradox:
- We break things just to fix them.
- We fix things that werenโt broken.
- And sometimesโฆ we โfixโ things by pretending the bug doesnโt exist.
- But if code always worked perfectly, weโd all be out of a job.
Whatโs your funniest developer moment that still makes you laugh (or cry)? Drop it belowโIโll read them
Continue reading...
