A
ALI
Guest
Being a developer is like being in a secret society where everyone pretends they know what they’re doing… but deep down, we’re all just Googling the same Stack Overflow answers.
Let me share some 100% real, definitely universal developer truths:
1. The Law of "Works on My Machine"
If your code works on your laptop but not on production—congratulations, you’re a real developer now.
Bonus points if you say “but it works locally” in the daily stand-up with zero shame.
2. Debugging = Crime Investigation
3. Deadlines and Miracles
4. Git Commit Messages Are Therapy
5. Meetings Are Just Free Debugging Sessions
Tell me why:
I can’t find a bug for 6 hours.
Then I explain the problem to my teammate for 2 minutes.
the solution suddenly appears in my brain.
(Rubber duck debugging is real.)
6. Friday Deployments = Russian Roulette
*7. The Stack Overflow Pipeline
*
8. Coffee is a Dependency
npm install coffee
pip install caffeine
apt-get install sleep-deprivation
Without it, the project won’t even compile.
*Final Thoughts
*
What’s your funniest developer moment that still makes you laugh (or cry)? Drop it below—I’ll read them
Continue reading...
Let me share some 100% real, definitely universal developer truths:
1. The Law of "Works on My Machine"
If your code works on your laptop but not on production—congratulations, you’re a real developer now.
Bonus points if you say “but it works locally” in the daily stand-up with zero shame.
2. Debugging = Crime Investigation
- Debugging isn’t just fixing errors. It’s more like:
- Reading stack traces like ancient hieroglyphics.
- Accusing innocent lines of code.
- Adding console.log("here") 50 times just to see where the code goes after midnight.
- Eventually giving up and telling yourself: “Maybe the computer is wrong.”
3. Deadlines and Miracles
- PM: “This should only take a day, right?”
- Me: laughs in recursive function
- Reality: Two weeks later, I’ve built an entirely different feature, discovered three new bugs, and lost 10% of my sanity.
4. Git Commit Messages Are Therapy
- Real-world Git commits:
- final_final_really_final_fix.js
- pls work this time
- added thing because other thing broke
- ¯_(ツ)_/¯
- Honestly, Git history is less “version control” and more a diary of breakdowns.
5. Meetings Are Just Free Debugging Sessions
Tell me why:
I can’t find a bug for 6 hours.
Then I explain the problem to my teammate for 2 minutes.
the solution suddenly appears in my brain.
(Rubber duck debugging is real.)
6. Friday Deployments = Russian Roulette
- Deploying on Friday is like saying:
- “I enjoy chaos, fear, and adrenaline rushes.”
- But don’t worry, because if it breaks:
- You’ll just say “It’s a Monday problem.”
*7. The Stack Overflow Pipeline
*
- The real development lifecycle is not Agile. It’s:
- Google error.
- Open 12 Stack Overflow tabs.
- Copy → Paste → Hope → Pray.
- Forget to close tabs for 3 days.
8. Coffee is a Dependency
npm install coffee
pip install caffeine
apt-get install sleep-deprivation
Without it, the project won’t even compile.
*Final Thoughts
*
- Developers live in a strange paradox:
- We break things just to fix them.
- We fix things that weren’t broken.
- And sometimes… we “fix” things by pretending the bug doesn’t exist.
- But if code always worked perfectly, we’d all be out of a job.
What’s your funniest developer moment that still makes you laugh (or cry)? Drop it below—I’ll read them
Continue reading...
