Quiz: Are You Guys Dating or Is He Just Using You for Your Air Conditioning?

A

Amy Currul

Guest
Was that a date, or just a friendly hang? Should you delete Hinge, or is he just casually giving it to you raw three nights a week? Are you guys dating, or is he just using you for your air conditioning? These are all tough questions, but that last one we have experienced for ourselves a number of times this summer, and as such are qualified to answer. Take our quiz below to find out, once and for all.

You go to dinner and drinks, both of which happen to be in your trendy neighborhood in Brooklyn, and so after 3 margaritas and 2 subway lines down, you mutually decide to spend the night at your place.

If you went with โ€œyouโ€™re datingโ€, congratulations! It might be dating out of convenience, but hey, isnโ€™t that how all Millennial love stories start?

Itโ€™s day two of a brutal heat wave, with temperatures in the 90s and no end in sight. He proposes a night in at your place, complete with AC, โ€œDie Hard With A Vengeanceโ€ (the sweatiest of all the Die Hard movies), and hand stuff. Normally, heโ€™s going down on you like youโ€™re a turkey dinner and itโ€™s Thanksgiving day, so the proposition for just hand stuff isnโ€™t sitting right with you.

Look, itโ€™s weird to front-load what sex acts youโ€™ll be performing on each other, but be honest: do YOU want to go down on his swamp dick right now? No? I didnโ€™t think so. Take the win and donโ€™t think about it too much.

You havenโ€™t seen each other since DHWAV, and now weeks later, amidst a different heat wave, heโ€™s asking if he can crash at your place tonight because his โ€œroommate has a friend in townโ€ and โ€œyour place is so much cooler/better anyways ;)โ€.

Iโ€™d be less concerned with whether or not youโ€™re dating and more concerned whether he actually has an apartment or if heโ€™s living with his parents/secretly has a girlfriend/is a drifter. But specifically mentioning the air conditioning when itโ€™s mid-August and starting to cool down? Not a great sign.

He wakes up in your bed and mentions how much more comfortable it is than waking up in his bed. He grabs a blanket, feigning being cold because your AC is so strong โ€“ almost as strong as he is. When you mention the heat wave breaking, he reacts by pulling out his calendar and saying how โ€œbusyโ€ heโ€™s going to be and how much work stuff he has coming up.

Yeah, heโ€™s definitely using you for your air conditioning. If the dicks good, why do you care, though? Just ride that thang until late September, then start looking for a guy whoโ€™s going to be around long enough to uninstall your AC and then re-install it next Memorial Day weekend.

The post Quiz: Are You Guys Dating or Is He Just Using You for Your Air Conditioning? appeared first on The Hard Times.

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