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/u/RollOk8005
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TLDR: Me (28F) and my boyfriend (44M) have been together for 2 years. In the past 3-4 months our sex life has taken a steep decline. We discusses it and he said itβs because of his weight gain (he said heβs the heaviest heβs ever been). Iβm understanding of his situation and I love him regardless of his size but be he hasnβt made an effort to lose weight and Iβm really sexually frustrated. Any advice for us as a couple or just what I can do in this situation to ease my sexual frustration?
More Context: Me (28F) and my boyfriend (44M) have been together for 2 years. In the past 3-4 months our sex life has taken a steep decline. We recently had a long conversation about it and heβs shared with me that itβs because of his weight gain. When we met he was maybe 230lbs and now heβs close to 270lbs. Heβs confessed that he gets winded really easily during sex or just cant maintain an erection probably because his blood flow isnβt that great now and itβs been a big confidence killer for him and he suspected at one time that I was cheating on him, which I never have, and he said he wasnβt even mad about it because he knows heβs been slacking when it comes to sex and that itβs his job to please me (his words not mine). That hurt me to hear because I love him and I donβt care about he weight or body but heβs right, I am really sexually frustrated. Yes Iβll pleasure myself when Iβm not with him but I really miss being physical with him and I miss the feeling of being wanted. We used to have sex all over the house at any time of day but now when ever we do have sex itβs always in the bed room and either right when we wake up or right before we are about to go to bed. He says he doesnβt want to have to rely on any type of sexual aid pill and I can understand that. Heβs also expressed that he wants to start working out and shed some weight but heβs been making comments like that for a few months now but still hasnβt made any effort to work out. During our recent talk about this topic he brought up that even if his dick doesnβt work the way he wants it to, his hands and his mouth still work and heβs gotten me to completion without penetration. Itβs a valid point and Iβd be happy with that but he just doesnt act on it or even do that much. I donβt want to just ask him to get me off if heβs not into, I want him to want it too, so maybe itβs an issue with his libido over all? Any advice for us as a couple or just what I can do in this situation to ease my sexual frustration?
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More Context: Me (28F) and my boyfriend (44M) have been together for 2 years. In the past 3-4 months our sex life has taken a steep decline. We recently had a long conversation about it and heβs shared with me that itβs because of his weight gain. When we met he was maybe 230lbs and now heβs close to 270lbs. Heβs confessed that he gets winded really easily during sex or just cant maintain an erection probably because his blood flow isnβt that great now and itβs been a big confidence killer for him and he suspected at one time that I was cheating on him, which I never have, and he said he wasnβt even mad about it because he knows heβs been slacking when it comes to sex and that itβs his job to please me (his words not mine). That hurt me to hear because I love him and I donβt care about he weight or body but heβs right, I am really sexually frustrated. Yes Iβll pleasure myself when Iβm not with him but I really miss being physical with him and I miss the feeling of being wanted. We used to have sex all over the house at any time of day but now when ever we do have sex itβs always in the bed room and either right when we wake up or right before we are about to go to bed. He says he doesnβt want to have to rely on any type of sexual aid pill and I can understand that. Heβs also expressed that he wants to start working out and shed some weight but heβs been making comments like that for a few months now but still hasnβt made any effort to work out. During our recent talk about this topic he brought up that even if his dick doesnβt work the way he wants it to, his hands and his mouth still work and heβs gotten me to completion without penetration. Itβs a valid point and Iβd be happy with that but he just doesnt act on it or even do that much. I donβt want to just ask him to get me off if heβs not into, I want him to want it too, so maybe itβs an issue with his libido over all? Any advice for us as a couple or just what I can do in this situation to ease my sexual frustration?
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