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/u/RollOk8005
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TLDR: Me (28F) and my boyfriend (44M) have been together for 2 years. In the past 3-4 months our sex life has taken a steep decline. We discusses it and he said itโs because of his weight gain (he said heโs the heaviest heโs ever been). Iโm understanding of his situation and I love him regardless of his size but be he hasnโt made an effort to lose weight and Iโm really sexually frustrated. Any advice for us as a couple or just what I can do in this situation to ease my sexual frustration?
More Context: Me (28F) and my boyfriend (44M) have been together for 2 years. In the past 3-4 months our sex life has taken a steep decline. We recently had a long conversation about it and heโs shared with me that itโs because of his weight gain. When we met he was maybe 230lbs and now heโs close to 270lbs. Heโs confessed that he gets winded really easily during sex or just cant maintain an erection probably because his blood flow isnโt that great now and itโs been a big confidence killer for him and he suspected at one time that I was cheating on him, which I never have, and he said he wasnโt even mad about it because he knows heโs been slacking when it comes to sex and that itโs his job to please me (his words not mine). That hurt me to hear because I love him and I donโt care about he weight or body but heโs right, I am really sexually frustrated. Yes Iโll pleasure myself when Iโm not with him but I really miss being physical with him and I miss the feeling of being wanted. We used to have sex all over the house at any time of day but now when ever we do have sex itโs always in the bed room and either right when we wake up or right before we are about to go to bed. He says he doesnโt want to have to rely on any type of sexual aid pill and I can understand that. Heโs also expressed that he wants to start working out and shed some weight but heโs been making comments like that for a few months now but still hasnโt made any effort to work out. During our recent talk about this topic he brought up that even if his dick doesnโt work the way he wants it to, his hands and his mouth still work and heโs gotten me to completion without penetration. Itโs a valid point and Iโd be happy with that but he just doesnt act on it or even do that much. I donโt want to just ask him to get me off if heโs not into, I want him to want it too, so maybe itโs an issue with his libido over all? Any advice for us as a couple or just what I can do in this situation to ease my sexual frustration?
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More Context: Me (28F) and my boyfriend (44M) have been together for 2 years. In the past 3-4 months our sex life has taken a steep decline. We recently had a long conversation about it and heโs shared with me that itโs because of his weight gain. When we met he was maybe 230lbs and now heโs close to 270lbs. Heโs confessed that he gets winded really easily during sex or just cant maintain an erection probably because his blood flow isnโt that great now and itโs been a big confidence killer for him and he suspected at one time that I was cheating on him, which I never have, and he said he wasnโt even mad about it because he knows heโs been slacking when it comes to sex and that itโs his job to please me (his words not mine). That hurt me to hear because I love him and I donโt care about he weight or body but heโs right, I am really sexually frustrated. Yes Iโll pleasure myself when Iโm not with him but I really miss being physical with him and I miss the feeling of being wanted. We used to have sex all over the house at any time of day but now when ever we do have sex itโs always in the bed room and either right when we wake up or right before we are about to go to bed. He says he doesnโt want to have to rely on any type of sexual aid pill and I can understand that. Heโs also expressed that he wants to start working out and shed some weight but heโs been making comments like that for a few months now but still hasnโt made any effort to work out. During our recent talk about this topic he brought up that even if his dick doesnโt work the way he wants it to, his hands and his mouth still work and heโs gotten me to completion without penetration. Itโs a valid point and Iโd be happy with that but he just doesnt act on it or even do that much. I donโt want to just ask him to get me off if heโs not into, I want him to want it too, so maybe itโs an issue with his libido over all? Any advice for us as a couple or just what I can do in this situation to ease my sexual frustration?
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