I Read Josh Gad’s Memoir So You Don’t Have To

[Nick Coffman]

Okay, so truth be told, I did not read this. I listened to the audiobook on a Bluetooth speaker during my morning bus commute. Nevertheless, my fellow morning commuters and I enjoyed the book for the most part. I do come away a little upset at some aspects of this memoir.

In Gad We Trust is a “tell-some” about aging actor Joshua Ilan Gad. Most of you know him as Herman Judd from HBO’s Avenue 5, but to me he will always be Ludlow Lamonsoff from Pixels. In the book, Gad details his numerous projects and the choices that ultimately led him to them. He even mentions sleeping on friends’ couches throughout his career when times were tough. Yet, he never once mentioned sleeping on my couch.

Gad namedrops like he’s a storm cloud slinging names at readers. Robin Williams, James Cameron, Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Kristen Bell, Idina Menzell, Billy Crystal, God, and just about everyone he could fit into the bindings of the book. Everyone except for me. The one friend who was always there with an open heart and an empty couch. I knew there were other couches, but I didn’t care, because I knew he would eventually come home to my couch. I laid out pillows and blankets every night for over a decade, just in case he would stumble in looking for a couch to rest his sweet little head. All of that, and I can’t even get a single mention?

Fine, if you don’t want to mention me, I could maybe understand that. Maybe you consider sleeping on my comfortable sectional couch from Ashley Furniture a low point. Okay cool. You could have at least let me write the forward or a fucking blurb. You got Sandler to write a blurb? Pink? I can write laps around those clowns when it comes to writing blurbs. Let me prove it:

“This is the FUNNIEST book I have ever read. OMG Josh is on fire in this thing. I don’t literally, I mean figuratively of course. Josh, why do you send me straight to voicemail? You said we would be best friends forever. Was that a lie? Was my pillow and quilted blanket not enough? Did I set the thermostat too high? Too low? Please call me back” – A Guy Who Let Josh Sleep on His Couch before He Hit it Big

See. I wrote that before I even read the book. My blurb skills are second to none.

My biggest gripe with In Gad We Trust is that Joshua couldn’t even muster up the courage to send me a free copy of the book. I don’t ask for much, aside from a shoutout and a blurb, but the least he could do is send me a copy. I would proudly display it on my coffee table. But no. I am humiliated once again. Forced to use my monthly free Audible book, to listen to him narrate his life to me. A life that I was there for, for many nights. The only time I get to hear his voice, because he refuses to take my phone calls.

I give In Gad We Trust five stars out of five. Josh, please call me.

The post I Read Josh Gad’s Memoir So You Don’t Have To appeared first on Hard Drive.

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