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/u/Wynter_Phoenyx
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Reposting being my text got cut off.
Iโve been feeling a lack of connection with my partner of several years lately so Iโve turned towards trying to ask him about his fantasies since I know hearing about what he likes will turn me on and I figure fulfilling them will in turn, turn him on too.
Problem is, he says he only has fantasies for things he canโt have (like me and another girl sucking him off) which I canโt exactly fulfill. When I tried to ask further he says he just doesnโt fantasize, that when he masturbates heโs mostly not thinking of anything or just sometimes finds a picture.
Which I find extremely confusing because heโll watch porn (heโs shown me some of his favorites that weโve watched together), heโs played porn games, he has a porn file stash, and heโs mentioned the aforementioned fantasy I canโt fulfill as well as shared one with me early on in our relationship. Not to mention I know heโs creative because heโll tell me about his daydreams!
I want to believe him, especially because he tells me heโs just not that deep but part of me wonders if heโs suppressing his sexuality because we recently had an issue where I found toys he was hiding from me for years. I was upset over the hiding (and honestly jealous heโd buy toys for himself and not for us to play together) but after we talked I got the feeling he feels a lot of shame over his sexuality.
Which again I find odd because heโs so open about women he finds hot and will often make dirty jokes of all kinds.
So to;dr: is it possible he really just doesnโt have fantasies despite being a fairly sexual person or should I push for therapy and/or keep trying to gently talk to him about his sexuality?
submitted by /u/Wynter_Phoenyx
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Iโve been feeling a lack of connection with my partner of several years lately so Iโve turned towards trying to ask him about his fantasies since I know hearing about what he likes will turn me on and I figure fulfilling them will in turn, turn him on too.
Problem is, he says he only has fantasies for things he canโt have (like me and another girl sucking him off) which I canโt exactly fulfill. When I tried to ask further he says he just doesnโt fantasize, that when he masturbates heโs mostly not thinking of anything or just sometimes finds a picture.
Which I find extremely confusing because heโll watch porn (heโs shown me some of his favorites that weโve watched together), heโs played porn games, he has a porn file stash, and heโs mentioned the aforementioned fantasy I canโt fulfill as well as shared one with me early on in our relationship. Not to mention I know heโs creative because heโll tell me about his daydreams!
I want to believe him, especially because he tells me heโs just not that deep but part of me wonders if heโs suppressing his sexuality because we recently had an issue where I found toys he was hiding from me for years. I was upset over the hiding (and honestly jealous heโd buy toys for himself and not for us to play together) but after we talked I got the feeling he feels a lot of shame over his sexuality.
Which again I find odd because heโs so open about women he finds hot and will often make dirty jokes of all kinds.
So to;dr: is it possible he really just doesnโt have fantasies despite being a fairly sexual person or should I push for therapy and/or keep trying to gently talk to him about his sexuality?
submitted by /u/Wynter_Phoenyx
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