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/u/Wynter_Phoenyx
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Reposting being my text got cut off.
Iβve been feeling a lack of connection with my partner of several years lately so Iβve turned towards trying to ask him about his fantasies since I know hearing about what he likes will turn me on and I figure fulfilling them will in turn, turn him on too.
Problem is, he says he only has fantasies for things he canβt have (like me and another girl sucking him off) which I canβt exactly fulfill. When I tried to ask further he says he just doesnβt fantasize, that when he masturbates heβs mostly not thinking of anything or just sometimes finds a picture.
Which I find extremely confusing because heβll watch porn (heβs shown me some of his favorites that weβve watched together), heβs played porn games, he has a porn file stash, and heβs mentioned the aforementioned fantasy I canβt fulfill as well as shared one with me early on in our relationship. Not to mention I know heβs creative because heβll tell me about his daydreams!
I want to believe him, especially because he tells me heβs just not that deep but part of me wonders if heβs suppressing his sexuality because we recently had an issue where I found toys he was hiding from me for years. I was upset over the hiding (and honestly jealous heβd buy toys for himself and not for us to play together) but after we talked I got the feeling he feels a lot of shame over his sexuality.
Which again I find odd because heβs so open about women he finds hot and will often make dirty jokes of all kinds.
So to;dr: is it possible he really just doesnβt have fantasies despite being a fairly sexual person or should I push for therapy and/or keep trying to gently talk to him about his sexuality?
submitted by /u/Wynter_Phoenyx
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Iβve been feeling a lack of connection with my partner of several years lately so Iβve turned towards trying to ask him about his fantasies since I know hearing about what he likes will turn me on and I figure fulfilling them will in turn, turn him on too.
Problem is, he says he only has fantasies for things he canβt have (like me and another girl sucking him off) which I canβt exactly fulfill. When I tried to ask further he says he just doesnβt fantasize, that when he masturbates heβs mostly not thinking of anything or just sometimes finds a picture.
Which I find extremely confusing because heβll watch porn (heβs shown me some of his favorites that weβve watched together), heβs played porn games, he has a porn file stash, and heβs mentioned the aforementioned fantasy I canβt fulfill as well as shared one with me early on in our relationship. Not to mention I know heβs creative because heβll tell me about his daydreams!
I want to believe him, especially because he tells me heβs just not that deep but part of me wonders if heβs suppressing his sexuality because we recently had an issue where I found toys he was hiding from me for years. I was upset over the hiding (and honestly jealous heβd buy toys for himself and not for us to play together) but after we talked I got the feeling he feels a lot of shame over his sexuality.
Which again I find odd because heβs so open about women he finds hot and will often make dirty jokes of all kinds.
So to;dr: is it possible he really just doesnβt have fantasies despite being a fairly sexual person or should I push for therapy and/or keep trying to gently talk to him about his sexuality?
submitted by /u/Wynter_Phoenyx
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