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Australian children’s music group The Wiggles has been announced as the headliner act at next year’s Glastonbury, in accordance with the BBC’s new policy of “no high risk” performers.
Following recent controversy at the festival, the BBC announced future broadcasts of Glastonbury would not feature any acts who may voice their opposition to genocide. (Instead, the livestream will automatically switch over to a compilation of Countdown highlights for the duration of any “risky” performances.)
As a result, The Wiggles were selected as the big-name act for Glastonbury ‘26, due to the fact they haven’t posed a risk on stage since that one time during “Wake Up Jeff” when Jeff suddenly called for death to America.
“We’re excited for all the boys and girls at Glastonbury to hear our new range of broadcast-approved song next year!” The Wiggles said in a statement.
Included in The Wiggles setlist will be some of their chart topping hits like “Hot Potato, Solution Two-Stateo”, and “Toot Toot Chugga Chugga, We Condemn The October 7 Attacks”.
There will be one omission however, with John the “Hot” Purple Wiggle being asked to sit out as a means to avoid the high risk of all BBC viewers suddenly dying of over-arousal.
The post Wiggles To Headline Glastonbury ’26 After BBC Introduces “No High Risk” Acts Policy appeared first on The Shovel.
