T
Tim Graham
Guest
WASHINGTON β The contest between White House deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller and YouTube superstar Mr. Beast shows no signs of winding down at the close of its third day, according to rapt audience members.
βThis is the match-up of the century and Iβm on the edge of my seat!β exclaimed sports commentator Herb Culp. βIβve been here for all 72 hours and will continue to provide up to the minute play-by-play until a winner is declared. These are truly two of the most dead-eyed contestants Iβve ever seen. This is a classic battle between a pair of world-class athletes who are clearly bereft of anything resembling a human soul. Iβve seen sharks with more emotive eyes. Ladies and gentlemen, this is one for the books.β
Byron Steadman is closely following the match, having placed a large Polymarket wager on Miller to win.
βIβve got a lot riding on this,β said Steadman as he mopped sweat from his brow. βBasically if Mr. Beast wins, Iβm screwed. Donβt tell my wife, but I may have put our house on the line. I thought Miller was a sure thing! Heβs not even 40, but just look into those black voids he has for eyesβthereβs an ancient, inhuman malevolence lurking down there. I saw a fly land on Millerβs eyeball and just walk around for a while. If he noticed, he made no indication. I figured, how could he lose? But now that Iβve seen the vapid, inhuman stare of Mr. Beast, Iβm getting nervous.β
Mr. Beastβs coach Anthony Gleason helped prepare the YouTuber for the epic battle.
βJimmy and I spent weeks together getting ready for this competition,β said Coach Gleason from the sidelines. βWe trained for every possible situation, from rain to windblown sand to people making goofy faces to mess with his concentration. I was worried earlier when I saw Jimmy looking fatiguedβI knew he needed energy. But then he wiggled his tongue like a worm and attracted a bird, which he bit and swallowed down whole like a snake, never breaking eye contact with Miller. Thatβs the kind of dedication Jimmy brings to every project heβs involved in.β
At press time, Mr. Beastβs team accused Miller of cheating by using an earpiece playing audio of crying migrant children to help keep him focused.
The post Stephen Miller and Mr. Beast Entering Hour 72 of Soulless, Dead-Eyed Staring Contest appeared first on The Hard Times.
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βThis is the match-up of the century and Iβm on the edge of my seat!β exclaimed sports commentator Herb Culp. βIβve been here for all 72 hours and will continue to provide up to the minute play-by-play until a winner is declared. These are truly two of the most dead-eyed contestants Iβve ever seen. This is a classic battle between a pair of world-class athletes who are clearly bereft of anything resembling a human soul. Iβve seen sharks with more emotive eyes. Ladies and gentlemen, this is one for the books.β
Byron Steadman is closely following the match, having placed a large Polymarket wager on Miller to win.
βIβve got a lot riding on this,β said Steadman as he mopped sweat from his brow. βBasically if Mr. Beast wins, Iβm screwed. Donβt tell my wife, but I may have put our house on the line. I thought Miller was a sure thing! Heβs not even 40, but just look into those black voids he has for eyesβthereβs an ancient, inhuman malevolence lurking down there. I saw a fly land on Millerβs eyeball and just walk around for a while. If he noticed, he made no indication. I figured, how could he lose? But now that Iβve seen the vapid, inhuman stare of Mr. Beast, Iβm getting nervous.β
Mr. Beastβs coach Anthony Gleason helped prepare the YouTuber for the epic battle.
βJimmy and I spent weeks together getting ready for this competition,β said Coach Gleason from the sidelines. βWe trained for every possible situation, from rain to windblown sand to people making goofy faces to mess with his concentration. I was worried earlier when I saw Jimmy looking fatiguedβI knew he needed energy. But then he wiggled his tongue like a worm and attracted a bird, which he bit and swallowed down whole like a snake, never breaking eye contact with Miller. Thatβs the kind of dedication Jimmy brings to every project heβs involved in.β
At press time, Mr. Beastβs team accused Miller of cheating by using an earpiece playing audio of crying migrant children to help keep him focused.
The post Stephen Miller and Mr. Beast Entering Hour 72 of Soulless, Dead-Eyed Staring Contest appeared first on The Hard Times.
Continue reading...
