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Brian Odhiambo’s journey as a single father began when he unexpectedly took up both fatherhood and motherhood after his wife died while giving birth to their daughter.
As a 35-year-old single father, his world caved in on November 1, 2023, when his wife died after bleeding excessively during birth. This was after leaving a happy and smiling expectant wife at the maternity wing of the hospital, anticipating the birth of their baby girl.
He had taken her to the hospital and left her admitted the night before the tragedy, at the hospital on the outskirts of Nairobi. Her vital signs were stable, and her labour had not fully set in. The staff reassured him that she would be in excellent hands, which made him more comfortable with the situation.
He recounts the last precious moments, a conversation he still holds dear today.
“After some time while at home, I called her, and I could hear pain in her voice, which I assumed was her labor pains that had started. She told me they had not yet begun, and I instinctively sensed danger,” he recalls.
His fears were confirmed later that day. At 11 am, a call from the hospital summoned him back. Upon arrival, he was faced with a dire situation.
He was asked to sign documents for a blood transfusion and was told to get five pints of blood within 20 minutes to transfuse his wife, who had bled after giving birth to their daughter. It was an impossible task. He could not find enough donors or raise the Ksh. 5,000 per pint of blood.
Meanwhile, his daughter had been born with distress and had low oxygen levels. She was placed on oxygen immediately after delivery, and thankfully, she began to respond after an hour of being given oxygen.
His wife, on the other hand, was fighting for her life. She had been in the theatre for a few hours due to what the doctors said was a ruptured cervix. The medics had repaired the tear, but she was still bleeding, hence the urgent need for blood.
A decision was made to refer her for intensive care treatment at the Kenyatta National Hospital; however, before that could be done, the doctors had to urgently operate on her to remove her uterus in a bid to stop the bleeding and save her life. It was an agonizing day for Odhiambo; he was unable to see his wife during this period.
After what seemed like hours, the doctors delivered the devastating news. The doctor then told me, ‘I am sorry, Brian, we tried our best, but we have lost her,” he says, “my entire world came crashing down, I did not know whether to stand or sit, and then he told me to go pay my last respect to my wife.”
He was then asked to arrange for his wife’s body to be moved to a morgue and to settle the hospital bill for his daughter’s release.
He harbors the painful belief that the hospital let him down during the delivery of his child.
As he navigated his life with the newborn’s demands of feeding, sleeping, changing diapers, singing lullabies to calm her, and clinic appointments, his heart was shattered into pieces by the death. Still, despite this, he had to step up and be the mum and dad to his newborn baby girl.
The Men in Maternity Movement
He has faced life’s challenges since then, losing his job, which has led to financial strain, but he remains hopeful of a brighter future, believing he will get back on his feet again.
His life has changed, as he finds it difficult to socialize; now, he dedicates all his time to raising his child. He also feels deep sadness that his daughter is growing up without her mother's love and care.
“All I can do is double up as both the father and the mother, to give her all the love she needs for her to grow, and prepare for the future because I know at some point when grown, she will ask why she has no mother and I will have to break the news to her that her mother died while giving her life,” he says.
His experience has led him to realise that men who lose their wives during childbirth need a support system to help them heal.
He found this support through the ‘Machozi ya Mwisho Initiative’, founded by Lawrence Omondi and his wife after they lost their child.
Omondi shared his grief on social media, leading others to reach out with similar stories. “Seeing the depth of this problem, I have now started getting into matatus to talk to men about maternal health, and I sometimes offer to pay fares for the male passengers just to get a moment to create awareness and educate them on the importance of maternal health,” he says, “I believe if they do not know what should be done to protect maternal health, then they will not know how to demand for the right services for their partners?”
Omondi’s advocacy has evolved and grown into the ‘Men in Maternity Movement,’ which advocates for men to be more involved in maternal health. He believes that litigation is emotionally draining and that the key to change lies in advocacy.
“Do you know that over 40% of maternal deaths can be prevented if men were more involved in the maternal health space, if they knew about the danger signs during pregnancy, if they went to the antenatal clinics with their wives, and were present during delivery? I want them to know it is not just her pregnancy, it is your pregnancy too,” he states.
A Preventable Tragedy
Consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist Prof Moses Obimbo notes that excessive bleeding after birth, also known as postpartum hemorrhage, is the biggest killer of women, responsible for 35% to 40% of maternal deaths in Kenya.
Prof Obimbo added that breaking down the official maternity mortality rate in Kenya, currently at 355 deaths per 100,000 live births, translates to about 5,500 women dying each year from preventable pregnancy-related complications.
“These deaths are not the result of a lack of research or clinical expertise in Kenya. The problem is that we are not delivering the right quality of care during childbirth and the postpartum period, care that would allow us to quickly diagnose and treat excessive bleeding. Postpartum hemorrhage is both preventable and treatable,” said Prof Obimbo, who is also Professor and Chair at the Department of Human Anatomy and Medical Physiology at The University of Nairobi.
The Overlooked Father and Child
UNICEF Kenya Health Specialist Dr Laura Oyiengo highlights the impact of maternal death on fathers, noting that the focus is often on the newborn child left behind, not the grieving man.
“Many times, we may forget to support the father of the child, who is now left to raise their child. Many men would like to bring up the baby as they had most probably discussed with their late wife. Unfortunately, support for such men is not usually forthcoming, a situation that requires immediate attention and action by all stakeholders,” Dr Laura said.
The death of a mother during childbirth increases a baby’s risk of dying, especially for children under 5 years, as studies have revealed.
Dr. Laura noted that this is because the mother is usually the primary caregiver for the baby, providing nutrition through breast milk and nurturing. These are roles that the father and other family members may find challenging to fulfill, leaving them vulnerable.
Prof Obimbo, with colleagues from the Gynaecological and Obstetrics Society (KOGS), led by Dr Kireki Omanwa and other partners, including UNICEF Kenya, are engaging individuals, policymakers, and communities, to co-create solutions to raise the profile of maternal and child health.
This End Postpartum Hemorrhage (PPH) campaign is grounded in advocacy and community engagement, evidence generation through research, supporting a robust health system (that includes availability of blood), and enhancing the health information ecosystem to provide real-time maternal health data.
The End PPH launch paved the way for the campaign’s first Run for Her event in 2024, which drew over 3,000 registered runners and reached more than 300,000 participants.
As an advocate, Brian will be part of the 2025 Run For Her initiative on September 28, alongside similar events in 10 other African countries, to create awareness of bringing the men together as part of a community-wide maternal and child health advocacy event.
Today, Brian has embraced his role with quiet determination, bringing up his daughter in a world that changed his life forever because of a preventable condition that could have been better managed at the facility.
Even when the path seems complicated and burdensome, his love and dedication to providing his daughter with the best chance in life give him the drive to push on. He finds strength in watching his daughter grow, attain her milestones, and offer an infectious smile, an assurance that even in the darkest times, there is hope.
©Citizen Digital, Kenya
Continue reading...
- He had to step up and be the mum and dad to his newborn baby girl.
Brian Odhiambo’s journey as a single father began when he unexpectedly took up both fatherhood and motherhood after his wife died while giving birth to their daughter.
As a 35-year-old single father, his world caved in on November 1, 2023, when his wife died after bleeding excessively during birth. This was after leaving a happy and smiling expectant wife at the maternity wing of the hospital, anticipating the birth of their baby girl.
He had taken her to the hospital and left her admitted the night before the tragedy, at the hospital on the outskirts of Nairobi. Her vital signs were stable, and her labour had not fully set in. The staff reassured him that she would be in excellent hands, which made him more comfortable with the situation.
He recounts the last precious moments, a conversation he still holds dear today.
“After some time while at home, I called her, and I could hear pain in her voice, which I assumed was her labor pains that had started. She told me they had not yet begun, and I instinctively sensed danger,” he recalls.
His fears were confirmed later that day. At 11 am, a call from the hospital summoned him back. Upon arrival, he was faced with a dire situation.
He was asked to sign documents for a blood transfusion and was told to get five pints of blood within 20 minutes to transfuse his wife, who had bled after giving birth to their daughter. It was an impossible task. He could not find enough donors or raise the Ksh. 5,000 per pint of blood.
Meanwhile, his daughter had been born with distress and had low oxygen levels. She was placed on oxygen immediately after delivery, and thankfully, she began to respond after an hour of being given oxygen.
His wife, on the other hand, was fighting for her life. She had been in the theatre for a few hours due to what the doctors said was a ruptured cervix. The medics had repaired the tear, but she was still bleeding, hence the urgent need for blood.
A decision was made to refer her for intensive care treatment at the Kenyatta National Hospital; however, before that could be done, the doctors had to urgently operate on her to remove her uterus in a bid to stop the bleeding and save her life. It was an agonizing day for Odhiambo; he was unable to see his wife during this period.
After what seemed like hours, the doctors delivered the devastating news. The doctor then told me, ‘I am sorry, Brian, we tried our best, but we have lost her,” he says, “my entire world came crashing down, I did not know whether to stand or sit, and then he told me to go pay my last respect to my wife.”
He was then asked to arrange for his wife’s body to be moved to a morgue and to settle the hospital bill for his daughter’s release.
He harbors the painful belief that the hospital let him down during the delivery of his child.
As he navigated his life with the newborn’s demands of feeding, sleeping, changing diapers, singing lullabies to calm her, and clinic appointments, his heart was shattered into pieces by the death. Still, despite this, he had to step up and be the mum and dad to his newborn baby girl.
The Men in Maternity Movement
He has faced life’s challenges since then, losing his job, which has led to financial strain, but he remains hopeful of a brighter future, believing he will get back on his feet again.
His life has changed, as he finds it difficult to socialize; now, he dedicates all his time to raising his child. He also feels deep sadness that his daughter is growing up without her mother's love and care.
“All I can do is double up as both the father and the mother, to give her all the love she needs for her to grow, and prepare for the future because I know at some point when grown, she will ask why she has no mother and I will have to break the news to her that her mother died while giving her life,” he says.
His experience has led him to realise that men who lose their wives during childbirth need a support system to help them heal.
He found this support through the ‘Machozi ya Mwisho Initiative’, founded by Lawrence Omondi and his wife after they lost their child.
Omondi shared his grief on social media, leading others to reach out with similar stories. “Seeing the depth of this problem, I have now started getting into matatus to talk to men about maternal health, and I sometimes offer to pay fares for the male passengers just to get a moment to create awareness and educate them on the importance of maternal health,” he says, “I believe if they do not know what should be done to protect maternal health, then they will not know how to demand for the right services for their partners?”
Omondi’s advocacy has evolved and grown into the ‘Men in Maternity Movement,’ which advocates for men to be more involved in maternal health. He believes that litigation is emotionally draining and that the key to change lies in advocacy.
“Do you know that over 40% of maternal deaths can be prevented if men were more involved in the maternal health space, if they knew about the danger signs during pregnancy, if they went to the antenatal clinics with their wives, and were present during delivery? I want them to know it is not just her pregnancy, it is your pregnancy too,” he states.
A Preventable Tragedy
Consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist Prof Moses Obimbo notes that excessive bleeding after birth, also known as postpartum hemorrhage, is the biggest killer of women, responsible for 35% to 40% of maternal deaths in Kenya.
Prof Obimbo added that breaking down the official maternity mortality rate in Kenya, currently at 355 deaths per 100,000 live births, translates to about 5,500 women dying each year from preventable pregnancy-related complications.
“These deaths are not the result of a lack of research or clinical expertise in Kenya. The problem is that we are not delivering the right quality of care during childbirth and the postpartum period, care that would allow us to quickly diagnose and treat excessive bleeding. Postpartum hemorrhage is both preventable and treatable,” said Prof Obimbo, who is also Professor and Chair at the Department of Human Anatomy and Medical Physiology at The University of Nairobi.
The Overlooked Father and Child
UNICEF Kenya Health Specialist Dr Laura Oyiengo highlights the impact of maternal death on fathers, noting that the focus is often on the newborn child left behind, not the grieving man.
“Many times, we may forget to support the father of the child, who is now left to raise their child. Many men would like to bring up the baby as they had most probably discussed with their late wife. Unfortunately, support for such men is not usually forthcoming, a situation that requires immediate attention and action by all stakeholders,” Dr Laura said.
The death of a mother during childbirth increases a baby’s risk of dying, especially for children under 5 years, as studies have revealed.
Dr. Laura noted that this is because the mother is usually the primary caregiver for the baby, providing nutrition through breast milk and nurturing. These are roles that the father and other family members may find challenging to fulfill, leaving them vulnerable.
Prof Obimbo, with colleagues from the Gynaecological and Obstetrics Society (KOGS), led by Dr Kireki Omanwa and other partners, including UNICEF Kenya, are engaging individuals, policymakers, and communities, to co-create solutions to raise the profile of maternal and child health.
This End Postpartum Hemorrhage (PPH) campaign is grounded in advocacy and community engagement, evidence generation through research, supporting a robust health system (that includes availability of blood), and enhancing the health information ecosystem to provide real-time maternal health data.
The End PPH launch paved the way for the campaign’s first Run for Her event in 2024, which drew over 3,000 registered runners and reached more than 300,000 participants.
As an advocate, Brian will be part of the 2025 Run For Her initiative on September 28, alongside similar events in 10 other African countries, to create awareness of bringing the men together as part of a community-wide maternal and child health advocacy event.
Today, Brian has embraced his role with quiet determination, bringing up his daughter in a world that changed his life forever because of a preventable condition that could have been better managed at the facility.
Even when the path seems complicated and burdensome, his love and dedication to providing his daughter with the best chance in life give him the drive to push on. He finds strength in watching his daughter grow, attain her milestones, and offer an infectious smile, an assurance that even in the darkest times, there is hope.
©Citizen Digital, Kenya
Continue reading...
