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/u/LostFox1602
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I [25M] have been having significant issues with my [24F] wifeβs intimacy related fears. There is a lot to unpack here so I will try to make it simple. My wife has issues relating sex to her life. She has told me that she honestly NEVER thinks about sex. She has never had the desire to have sex outside of procreation. I on the other hand am a very sexual person and have very different needs when it comes to the bedroom. Last night we had a serious discussion about this and she told me that she treats sex as a chore. She only does it because she thinks it βhas to get doneβ. Knowing now that she sees it that way makes me very uncomfortable. I wish she wanted to be with me in that way but she just doesnβt. We were each otherβs first for everything and we have been married for 5 years. I figured by now things would change. To her point however she has had significant health conditions that have effected her views on intimacy as well. Over the past year she has had 2 surgeries for 2 different ovarian cysts that developed after the birth of our first child. I have told her that she doesnβt need to do anything sexual until she is confident that she is healed fully. However the surgeries have caused her to fear ever having sex ever again. She even told me that she is so worried about her sexual health that she is afraid to sit naked on our bed without washing the sheets first in fear of getting a UTI. She has had two in the past but I believe these fears are unfounded, and that we should both go to counseling to work on this aspect of our lives together. She told me she will not go and that counseling or therapy is a scam. What can I do? Anyone who has had similar experiences please let me know how you got around it. And feel free to ask any questions.
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submitted by /u/LostFox1602
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