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/u/Acceptable_Frame5868
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Hello everyone, Thank for for spending time to read my post, I really appreciate it.
Me (m23) and my partner (m29) have been dating for a year and 7 months, we just went through a phase where we tried to be open-ish. He had discussed this for a long time and that fact that he enjoyed non-monomogy.. and I sedmented that into fear and I kinda put myself in a place where if I didnt let him try it, i'd be scared he would cheat.. so we tried it. I enjoyed being free too, it was relieving and let me explore stuff I wanted to explore with my partner but couldn't. Honesty, though, it felt kinda wrong to do stuff with other people? Even if it was relieving.. anyways, I was being super transparent with him on all accounts. He mentioned he did like one thing with someone else.. and well it came to light he did more.. In his defense he was just touching people I guess. If sex is the big picture thing he did, thing why would I care about him touching someone else? I think its the fact of him not being truthful? and me finding out through others that hurt me more.
Anyways, after that I said some mean things and we recovered
Now I'm just struggling to explain and ask for my own wants in the relationship. Mainly mine are are sexual i guess? I'm a very submissive person, at work and in person i'm very shy and usually dont interject with all too much. But I struggle to ask for things I would like to do out of the worry that my partner doesnt want that, or that i'll be annoying and come off as too needy.
Does anyone know how to overcome this self doubt?
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Me (m23) and my partner (m29) have been dating for a year and 7 months, we just went through a phase where we tried to be open-ish. He had discussed this for a long time and that fact that he enjoyed non-monomogy.. and I sedmented that into fear and I kinda put myself in a place where if I didnt let him try it, i'd be scared he would cheat.. so we tried it. I enjoyed being free too, it was relieving and let me explore stuff I wanted to explore with my partner but couldn't. Honesty, though, it felt kinda wrong to do stuff with other people? Even if it was relieving.. anyways, I was being super transparent with him on all accounts. He mentioned he did like one thing with someone else.. and well it came to light he did more.. In his defense he was just touching people I guess. If sex is the big picture thing he did, thing why would I care about him touching someone else? I think its the fact of him not being truthful? and me finding out through others that hurt me more.
Anyways, after that I said some mean things and we recovered
Now I'm just struggling to explain and ask for my own wants in the relationship. Mainly mine are are sexual i guess? I'm a very submissive person, at work and in person i'm very shy and usually dont interject with all too much. But I struggle to ask for things I would like to do out of the worry that my partner doesnt want that, or that i'll be annoying and come off as too needy.
Does anyone know how to overcome this self doubt?
submitted by /u/Acceptable_Frame5868
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