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/u/greenowl04
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So... I (21F) have issues with sex. I can become aroused easily but as far as actually having sex I kind of hate it. I don't like the fluids and the mess and the energy it requires. I don't really need to orgasm. However, I do like being touched and touching. In the past, my girlfriend (21F) and I took a sex break because I was just overwhelmed. She said she didn't need sex either. But we did eventually continue. The thing is, I don't know if sex is something that is sustainable for me. But I'm not sure I believe her when she says she doesn't need it. There will be times she wakes me up in the middle of the night because she's turned on and unsatisfied. I hate it when she does this, but I feel bad because I know I'm not satisfying her. I can be in the mood to please her, but it's rare and a lot harder to get there for me. Especially since she wants more than I do sexually, like rougher and pain and fisting. Whereas I require gentleness and simplicity and a slow pleasure. Alhough she usually tries to do more for me and sometimes does what she would like done to her which can be too much for me and a turnoff. Is it reasonable to request that we do one of three things at a time with sex... 1) She pleases me to orgasm, 2) I please her to orgasm, or 3) we please each other at the same time and don't even attempt orgasm?
I should note that we've been dating for almost 7 months now so this might be an issue of sexual compatibility or perhaps we need to wait longer?? I don't know. We're both pretty new to sex as well.
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I should note that we've been dating for almost 7 months now so this might be an issue of sexual compatibility or perhaps we need to wait longer?? I don't know. We're both pretty new to sex as well.
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