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/u/Massive-Channel3966
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Recently, I (27F) ended things with a man I was seeing (29M) because he lashed out at me for not telling him I was a virgin. I usually donβt tell anyone, as Iβm always a bit embarrassed to talk about my lack of experience with not only sex, but also because Iβve always been single and grew up very sheltered.
I felt very vulnerable sharing this, but I was comfortable enough when the topic came up since we started talking a little over two months ago.
According to him, I am a βdisingenuous personβ because I should have told him from the beginning that I was one, since he and I would talk and joke about sex. This is confusing because I never said anything explicitly about having experience whenever we would engage in flirty banter.
Virginity is not something I decide to disclose on my own. However, if someone asks me, and Iβm comfortable enough with them to answer honestly, thereβs either one of two reactions.
Reaction 1: Immediate infantilization. It usually includes βthatβs cute!β or some creepy βI can teach you so much!β statement or strange question.
Reaction 2: They usually ask why thatβs the case. I prefer this in comparison.
Should virginity even be entertained as a topic of discussion in the first place? It was like a flip switch when I told him, and he started acting completely different, even got loud. It really threw me off, and it makes me wonder if I should ever say anything about it anymore.
Edit: For context, he asked me if I had ever tried a particular position. I replied, βI haven't really tried any positions,β and that's when the argument started.
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I felt very vulnerable sharing this, but I was comfortable enough when the topic came up since we started talking a little over two months ago.
According to him, I am a βdisingenuous personβ because I should have told him from the beginning that I was one, since he and I would talk and joke about sex. This is confusing because I never said anything explicitly about having experience whenever we would engage in flirty banter.
Virginity is not something I decide to disclose on my own. However, if someone asks me, and Iβm comfortable enough with them to answer honestly, thereβs either one of two reactions.
Reaction 1: Immediate infantilization. It usually includes βthatβs cute!β or some creepy βI can teach you so much!β statement or strange question.
Reaction 2: They usually ask why thatβs the case. I prefer this in comparison.
Should virginity even be entertained as a topic of discussion in the first place? It was like a flip switch when I told him, and he started acting completely different, even got loud. It really threw me off, and it makes me wonder if I should ever say anything about it anymore.
Edit: For context, he asked me if I had ever tried a particular position. I replied, βI haven't really tried any positions,β and that's when the argument started.
submitted by /u/Massive-Channel3966
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