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/u/DreamedUp
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I (F25) and my boyfriend (M26) have been going out for a few months now. Everything is great. Nobody has ever treated me better. In the bedroom, heโs a considerate and generous lover, and is constantly checking in to make sure Iโm okay. And yes, it is very nice and I appreciate that he does that. It makes me feel very loved. The only issue is the fact that he watches my face like a hawk. Donโt get me wrong, eye contact is extremely hot, and is my absolute favorite thing in bed. However it isnโt just eye contact. Heโs analyzing my every facial expression and will stop every time I donโt look happy or smiling. Iโve never been one to smile during sex, itโs just not something Iโve ever done. Iโm too busy enjoying the moment. He told me I look miserable or sad or scared. Itโs just my face though. Iโve told him that and he told me โjust give me a smile so I know youโre good.โ
I think to myself no problem, I can do that, give him a smile now and then. Or so I thought. But this is how intimacy has been going as of late: Weโre going at it, he stops, asks if Iโm okay. โYes Iโm doing great!,โ I say in an enthusiastic tone and smile. He keeps going. I drop the smile so I can focus on what weโre doing. He stops, โyou look sad, are you okay?โ
Even moaning doesnโt help since he thinks Iโm moaning in pain??? Itโs so confusing because Iโm nowhere close to being a virgin and he certainly isnโt rough with me. May as well call us French because we are both very vanilla. Itโs gotten to the point where I plaster a smile on my face the whole time. By the end, my jaw hurts, itโs not a real smile, and I canโt even enjoy it since Iโm so overly focused on my facial expressions. My internal monologue during sex has transformed into: โokay keep the smile up. Ugh I canโt smile this long, okay Iโll just bite my lip or something so he knows Iโm still good. Oh wow that feels good- nope canโt make that face, look happy, look happy!โ
Iโm exhausted. He keeps thanking me for smiling. Like Iโm glad heโs doing better and all but god damn. If I could just flash a smile now and again itโd be all good but seriously if I donโt look like the Fourth of July the entire time, he gets worried and stops. When we did it from behind, it was the best ever since I didnโt have to spend the whole time worried about my face.
I just donโt know what else to do. Iโve told him many times that itโs just my face; if Iโm unhappy or anything Iโll just tell him to stop. It doesnโt help though. Heโs not inexperienced by any means so Iโm honestly not sure where this need for constant reassurance comes from for him. I feel horrible complaining about it since he is very sweet and heโs just concerned but itโs becoming so frustrating. Any advice?
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I think to myself no problem, I can do that, give him a smile now and then. Or so I thought. But this is how intimacy has been going as of late: Weโre going at it, he stops, asks if Iโm okay. โYes Iโm doing great!,โ I say in an enthusiastic tone and smile. He keeps going. I drop the smile so I can focus on what weโre doing. He stops, โyou look sad, are you okay?โ
Even moaning doesnโt help since he thinks Iโm moaning in pain??? Itโs so confusing because Iโm nowhere close to being a virgin and he certainly isnโt rough with me. May as well call us French because we are both very vanilla. Itโs gotten to the point where I plaster a smile on my face the whole time. By the end, my jaw hurts, itโs not a real smile, and I canโt even enjoy it since Iโm so overly focused on my facial expressions. My internal monologue during sex has transformed into: โokay keep the smile up. Ugh I canโt smile this long, okay Iโll just bite my lip or something so he knows Iโm still good. Oh wow that feels good- nope canโt make that face, look happy, look happy!โ
Iโm exhausted. He keeps thanking me for smiling. Like Iโm glad heโs doing better and all but god damn. If I could just flash a smile now and again itโd be all good but seriously if I donโt look like the Fourth of July the entire time, he gets worried and stops. When we did it from behind, it was the best ever since I didnโt have to spend the whole time worried about my face.
I just donโt know what else to do. Iโve told him many times that itโs just my face; if Iโm unhappy or anything Iโll just tell him to stop. It doesnโt help though. Heโs not inexperienced by any means so Iโm honestly not sure where this need for constant reassurance comes from for him. I feel horrible complaining about it since he is very sweet and heโs just concerned but itโs becoming so frustrating. Any advice?
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