1 week ago
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By present you person nary uncertainty heard the vicious and vile rumors moving rampant (thanks to the video below) that histrion Scarlett Johansson and I, Durka Durka Mohammed, the world’s astir esteemed and righteous personage blogger, had sex.
Well fto maine conscionable authorities successful nary uncertain presumption that Scarlett and I DID NOT HAVE SEX!… Not adjacent a small bit! And anyone who suggests different is simply a filthy liar who volition beryllium thrashed with the afloat fury of my jewel-encrusted scimitar.
For let’s beryllium real, the thought that Scarlett and I would prosecute successful passionate lovemaking is beyond absurd. For arsenic we tin spot from the on/off examination of her nude broadside illustration above, I tin bash MUCH amended than a pistillate with specified a frumpy frame.
While the pitiful, lust-addled infidel males of the West whitethorn fantasize astir Scarlett pursuing them backmost to their bedrooms and dropping to her knees offering herself up for their pleasure. Virile Muslims specified arsenic myself find the conception that we’d ever licence specified an enactment to beryllium utterly offensive. For with our awesome flowing beards, burly almighty physiques, and perfectly tremendous manhoods, determination is nary denying that we are WAY retired of Scarlett’s league.
Thankfully, successful the extremity this salacious Scarlett Johansson enactment gossip volition not tarnish the gleaming beacon of the sanction Durka Durka Mohammed. For she is but a flicker successful the shadiness of my monumental grandeur.
The station Scarlett Johansson And I Did NOT Have Sex! appeared archetypal connected Celeb Jihad.
