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Shareholders are wary of Elon Musk’s new “America Party”, after a proposed timeline revealed the political institution is expected to launch five years late, and then explode before liftoff.
Musk, the man who makes you yearn for when all billionaires did was buy boats, declared that by 2035 the America Party will be the first party to land on Mars.
“If I’m as good at politics as I am at rocket science, then the America Party is going to cause a huge bang,” Musk said at a presser, wearing a hat that read “Make America Party Again”.
Some of the party’s major platforms include deporting illegal aliens back to their home planets, mandating all women give birth to at least one of Musk’s children, and ending the prejudice against citizens who pay for a blue tick.
“Finally, a party I can vote for that cares about the people instead of corrupt billionaires,” cheered an excited Twitter user named @Not_Elon_AltAccountXX12.
Musk also revealed that once the America Party has finally achieved name recognition, he plans to change the name to “The X Party.”
Upon hearing the news that Musk’s time would be spent on the new political party, board members from SpaceX and Tesla entered a state of euphoric shock.
The post Musk’s New America Party To Run Five Years Late and Explode Upon Launch appeared first on The Shovel.
