Life's pushing too hard to consider such..... - r/Kenya

I(20M) ne'er thought I’d beryllium penning thing similar this, but present I am.

The past twelvemonth has been brutal financially, particularly for my parents whose wings I'm under.Tho successful my civilization I'm considered an big and expected to fend for myself, my parents don't look to beryllium inclined to that coz they enactment maine successful a schoolhouse and promised to cater for me. I've been pleading with the caretaker for 3 months present not to adjacent my door(thank God helium listens), my shoes' soles are each "done" and my clothes.....I conscionable unreal not to attraction erstwhile I afloat do. I don't person a woman due to the fact that my ex and I broke up erstwhile I failed to get her a worthy acquisition connected valentines. I precocious developed gastritis coz of my feeding habits which are dictated by the pockets. I person friends but I can't spell knocking daily. I'm a aesculapian (clinical medicine) pupil and I've considered moving but I'm not capable to equilibrium enactment and schoolhouse and I extremity up failing which creates different occupation for my parents who already person it rough. I can't outcry astir my concern coz I'm a "man" and I cognize my parents can't conscionable disregard me....so they're astir apt moving connected something, I've been giving them clip and a lil' bid (not calling them to punctual them that I'm hungry).

Recently, idiosyncratic I cognize mentioned “mumamaz”—basically doing contented online. It caught maine disconnected defender astatine first, but the much I thought astir it, the much it started making a unusual benignant of sense. I don’t justice anyone who does it. Honestly, I respect the assurance and the hustle. I’ve conscionable ever assumed it wasn’t for me. But now… I’m bushed of drowning. I’m not adjacent definite I’d beryllium bully astatine thing similar that. I don’t adjacent cognize wherever to commencement but I consciousness I mightiness person a changeable astatine adjacent tasting pizza (never tasted 1 before).

It feels similar specified a unusual happening to adjacent consider—but present I am. I conscionable needed to get this disconnected my chest. If anyone has immoderate acquisition oregon proposal (no judgment, please), I’d truly admit proceeding it.